Anger is a normal human emotion. It often comes from feeling let down, hurt or unheard, and it can sit on top of loss, stress or past trauma. If your anger feels like it comes out of nowhere, or leaves you feeling powerless and ashamed afterwards, therapy can help you understand it and process through it.

I offer private anger management counselling at my practice in Garston, south Liverpool, and online.

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How anger shows up

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Anger isn't only outbursts. It can appear in your:

• Thoughts: ruminating and dwelling on things that are getting to you

• Emotions: guilt or shame about getting angry

• Behaviour: throwing things, slamming doors, shouting, lashing out

• Body: tension, chest tightness or stomach problems

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Many people with high levels of anger feel stuck in a cycle: anger leads to actions they regret, which brings shame and frustration, which feeds more anger. Most people don't want to behave this way. It can feel like an unconscious reflex. You are more than your anger, and the fact that you're looking for help shows there's a caring part of you that wants change.

Anger isn't all bad either. It can signal that something isn't right and motivate you to make changes.

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My approach to anger management

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I'm not here to stop you being angry, and I won't tell you to count to ten, calm down or breathe. Anger management isn't really a course, and it isn't something you can simply be taught. It's about healing what's underneath: the hurt, loss, stress or trauma that outbursts are often the tail end of.

For over six years I ran a specialist NHS-funded anger management service. I found talking therapy and CBT alone were limited for many people, so I trained in other approaches, including Deep Brain Reorientating, Internal Family Systems and Brainspotting, to help people get to the cause and recover. When the underlying causes are processed, anger often reduces. 

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What changes

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• You feel more in control and more at ease

• Your relationships improve, because people tend to pull away from angry energy, which triggers fight, flight or freeze

• Your overall wellbeing improves. Research links long-term stress and anger with poorer health, so working on them can benefit your body as well as your mind

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Getting started

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Sessions are available in person in Garston, Liverpool, and online. See session fees and what to expect, then book an appointment or email me at chris.rudyard@gmail.com.

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You may also find these pages useful: Trauma & PTSD, Bereavement and IFS Therapy