If your relationship is in a mess, tend to it! - Probably the worst thing you can do is avoid it.
I work with couples who both want the therapy,
not those who are having to force or drag the other one along to it.
Whether it's with a partner, wife, friend, or family member, relationships can be the cause of much stress, as well as love.
If you're in a relationship, working together through problems can help feelings of frustration, stress, and 'stuckness'. If you are able to show a commitment to working through difficulties within your relationship, it can improve it. Coming to counselling together can offer you the time and space to help your relationship towards a healthier, and stronger one.
If you feel somewhat isolated, and it's your relationships that are causing you stress, then coming to therapy on your own, can be a great way to get some perspective and look at the relationship objectively. You may even feel you need to recover from an abusive or difficult relationship, and therapy is a great way to do this too.
The therapy I provide helps to create an intimate environment, where problems within the relationship can be discussed and worked on.
It is easy for couples to become distracted, have arguments to become out of hand, or walk away from difficult issues in environments such as the home. In my therapy sessions, I will be challenging, as well as understanding to both parties.
It may be difficult getting a partner to come along to therapy, so if your partner or ex-partner doesn't wish to come along to counselling, it is important to respect them in that choice. All too often, it is one person dragging the other along to therapy. What is sometimes surprising though is that the person who unwittingly attending finds it useful also.
If your partner is adamant that they will not attend counselling, then coming to counselling on your own can still help you, and your relationship. I believe that this is because we all 'rub off' on each other, so if one of you starts to make changes, that must affect the relationship.
What you use counselling for is up to you as a couple. I am not here to change anyone in the relationship, I am here to help you work through problems that could be 'blocking' you from each other.
I am not here to stop relationships from ending, that is up to the people in the relationship.
Common issues that people bring to relationship counselling are:
affairs, betrayals, changes, illness, lack of communication, and parenting problems.
There may be other ways you would like counselling to be of support and help, and this can be discussed in sessions.
So maybe counselling could help you, your partner, and your relationship.
For couples and relationship counselling I only work face to face in Liverpool. I do not work with couples where one or both parties have a known dependency on alcohol or substance/drugs.
'Thank you so much for the work that you do' A very grateful wife.